BITTERSWEET ほろ苦い。
by Wannabemagicalgirl
Summary: Wanting you to be happy is bittersweet. It's sweet to see you smile; it's bitter to know someone else caused the smile on your face.
1. B I T T E R S W E E T

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 _25%_

 _Do you remember when we were kids? We'd run around playing together for hours with seemingly no end. I'd fall and get hurt. You'd be there right by my side trying to ease my pain and stop my tears. Even if me being hurt wasn't your fault. You still cared. You cared so much. We're you scared you'd get in trouble if I was returned home with a cut or a bruise? Or did you really... Did you really care?_

 _50%_

 _I wish things could stay the way they were. Is that selfish of me? Maybe it is... Maybe it isn't... I don't really know. I want you to be happy... You've given me so much!! I want you to stop worrying so much for me... I'll be okay... Really I will be!!! But if... If you hang around me any longer, you won't be. I'm no good for you. You deserve someone so much better! So please... Promise me you'll find happiness, okay?_

 _75%_

 _Sometimes I wonder if you think of me as a child still... The way you look at me... Is it the same way you'd look at someone years younger than you? You don't feel like you have to babysit me, do you? Worry about yourself first please! And... Um is it wrong of me to not want you to think of me as a child? It hurts to think about that for some reason... But it shouldn't, right? Hmm if you want to think of me as a child, than I'll accept this pain. As long as your happy..._

 _100%_

 _ **GET.OUT.OF.MY.HEAD...!!!**_

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	2. ACT ONE PART ONE

**_Bdkpwpdblapapq xkslql jwpqpdbalpapbdlspqq GET OUT OF MY HEAD bdjowpwdnskpwqksnsnaloaalsnsn_**

 ** _Sayori. ChrDelete... Delete... CAN'TDELTE... YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM!!! ndkpapqpanjskooama snskalqq say goodbye.._.**

I open my eyes noticing I'm still in my room. What was all of that...? It was like a bunch of silly little words jumbled together in my head... And I can't pick out specifically what was being said... I open my eyes and turn to face the alarm clock sitting there next to my bed. Hmm... It's still only 4:00 am... Which means I'd still have an hour and a half to sleep... I smile knowing that and close my eyes again... And my eyes again open almost immediately. Hehe... Guess I'm awake now? Well at least I won't be late for school! Maybe I'll even get to walk to school with Mitsuki! I smile at the thought of my childhood friend. Mitsuki and I have been best friends since as long as I can remember! He's always been there for me, and I'm really grateful for him. But.. But I never see him with other friends... And that concerns me. I can't be the only one he spends time with... Especially when he deserves to have much better friends than me... Or maybe that's worded weirdly... But it makes enough sense to me!!

I feel my eyes threaten to close again as I get ready. Silly Mitsuki... Why would you be friends with me anyways? ... All I do is annoy you. I let my thoughts continue to flood over until my eyes flutter shut again. So much for being on time to school today...

I wake up again to a warm bright feeling on my face. Hmm that's weird... It was dark a few minutes ago..Ooooh!! Maybe I'm still dreaming?? Hmm this feels very realistic for a dream... I open my eyes to see the room completely bright. Wait?! What time is it? I grab my phone from the side table where I left it earlier, and I turn it on. 6:58...!!? Wafer cookies!! I'm gonna be late!! I frantically stood up and ran back up the stairs into my room. I haphazardly throw on my uniform and bow, and then search for my brush. After a few minutes of it being no where to be seen, I run my fingers through my hair a few times and run out the door. As I get closer to the end of the neighborhood, I notice that Mitsuki is still standing there. Oh!! Yay!! I guess I won't miss walking to school with him!! "Heyyy!!! ", I call out excitedly, running to catch up to him. I see him turn back towards me almost looking... Annoyed? Heh... I guess that makes sense... Of course I annoy him... I finally catch up and struggle to catch my breath. "I overslept again", I point out with a giggle, "but I caught you this time! ! ". He shakes his head at me and sighs. "Maybe, but only because I decided to stop and wait for you", he says with a small smirk. "Eeeehh!! You say that like you were thinking about ignoring me! ", I point out with a pout. No wonder he finds me so annoying... "That's mean Mitsuki! ", I continue to pout, yelling at myself inside my head to stop. Oh dear... He's really going to hate me now..! "Well if people stare at you for acting weird then I don't want them to think we're a couple or something ", the smirk continues to stay on his face, but luckily he seems a little less annoyed with me. But why did it hurt so badly when he said he doesn't want people to think we're a couple? I should want that too, right? I mean we're only friends,right? Besides, he deserves much better than me anyways!!

I shake off the negative feelings and smile. "Fine fine! ", I giggle and attempt to get rid of all the weird pain I felt from his words, "but, you did wait for me after all!". I smile at him again, "I guess you don't have it in you to be mean even if you want to..!". He shakes his head at me, the annoyed tone taking over his voice again. "Whatever you say Sayori", he says, not even looking at me as he speaks. Way to go! You've made this even worse than it needs to be. Now he completely hates you, and you probably should never talk to him again before you do something stupider. I ignore the negative thoughts racing through my head, and force a smile onto my face, despite his annoyed attitude. "Ehehe", I giggle nervously before we start making our way towards the school. Holy macaroons!! I just had the most bestest idea!! If Mitsuki is so annoyed with me, than he definitely needs some new friends. That way I won't be around him and annoying him all the time! Plus the literature club could use more members!! And inviting him would mean there'd be 5 members an- I almost forget to tell him about my plan as I continue to ramble to myself in my head.

"By the way, Mitsuki... ", I start off, trying to think of how I should word this, "have you decided on a club to join yet?". I really hope he hasn't...! I mean, I haven't heard him mention a club!.. Then again... He probably avoids talking to me... I'd do that to myself too ehehe! Oh!! And Natsuki was making cupcakes today in attempt to get us new members!! This is just perfect!! "A club? ", his voice sounds completely uninterested as he speaks, "I already told you I have no interest in joining a club". Oh right..! He did say that once... "Ehehe don't say that!", I mumble, trying to think of how I'm going to change his mind. "Y-you told me you'd join a club this year!!", I stutter out. Okay so maybe that's not a hundred percent true, buuut a little teensy lie is totally okay if it's for his benefit, right? He looks around as if he's trying to recall something for a few seconds. "Did I..?", he looks at me with a look of confusion like he really doesn't know if he said that or not. I guess it should be a good thing due to the fact that it helps me with convincing, but I still can't shake off the small feeling of hurt inking it's way into my heart. No no no!! It's all okay!! He doesn't need to care about me anyways!! "I-I yep! You definitely said that!", I shake my head reassuringly, "I was talking about how about how I'm worried you won't have any skills or learn how to socialize before collage, a-and your happiness is really important to me, you know!!". I guess this was more true than the last thing I said, but I still felt a bit guilty for lying to him previously. But this was all for his best!!! "And I know you're happy now, but I'd die at the thought of you being a NEET in a few years because you're not used to the real world!", I finish my explanation with a small nod feeling slightly proud of myself, "y-you trust me, right? Don't make me keep worrying about you...!!". It all was true though!! I wanted him to be happy more than anything else in the world!! He looked like he was deep in thought before nodding after a few seconds. "Alright alright", he said slowly, his facial expression a weird cross between being annoyed and smiling, "I'll look at a few clubs, if it makes you happy".

He turned around as if to say he was ready to continue walking, before turning back around and smiling at me. "No promises though", he said with a slight smirk. Well, it's a start! I skip a few steps ahead of him and turn back around to make sure I'm facing him before I start talking again. "Promise me you'll at least try a little?", I say, putting on my best concerned face and trying to convince him more. He shook his head with a laugh and looked me in the eyes, a small smile forming on his face. "Yeah, I'll promise you that", he responded. "Yaay!!!", I jumped up and down excitedly, proud of my small little achievement! Now all that's left is to convince him to join the literature club, and that couldn't be too hard, right??

AN/ 1427 words. Thank you so much for reading!!~ this is officially the first real chapter!! This took me a little too long, but I'm happy to finally have it finished!! Thanks again for reading and have a lovely day!!

Megumi


	3. ACT ONE PART TWO

I was wrong. I was so very really wrong!! Of course it would he harder to convince him... Maybe he doesn't want to be in the club because that'd mean he'd have to see me more? Yeah that's probably it. I wouldn't want to see me either. But that's not at all how it will be! Nope nope nopeity nope!! Not at all. If he joins the literature club, then he won't ever have to talk to me again! I open my mouth to tell him that just as he starts to speak again. "Yeah I'm going to the anime club", he says with a nod. I guess maybe that would be okay too? Maybe he'd make new friends there too? No no no!! Wait!! I already promised Monika I'd bring a new member. I frantically look around trying to think of what I could say that would convince him.

"Come on!! Please!!", I plead, pouting ad cutely as I can. Natsuki would probably be more convincing, but oh wells!! She's not here right now, so I have to try my hardest!! "Why do you care so much anyways?", he asks, the tone of his voice suggesting that there's no way I can change his mind and this conversation is slightly pointless. I'm doing this because I care about you and I want you to be happy, and you'd be so happy with the girls from the literature club that you wouldn't need me at all anymore! I couldn't say that... Instead I nervously poked my pointer fingers together and looked at the ground. "Well uh I ... Ehehe I kinda told everyone that I'd bring a new member yesterday", I kept my gaze on the ground waiting for a response. Okay so maybe I didn't tell them yesterday! I had only told them earlier today, but we still had plans of finding new members today anyways!!

"N-Natsuki made cupcakes and everything! Eh ehehe...", I kept my head down, but peeked up at him. He seemed to be considering it!Wow! Maybe I should've just started with cupcakes! Just as I'm starting to feel hopeful, his uninterested and slightly annoyed expression returns. "Don't make promises you can't keep!", he scolded, putting an end to my celebrating. I continue to nervously poke my fingers together as I look out of him from the corner of my eyes. Well heck ... Now he looks angry at me!! Darn it Sayori! Now he hates you even more! He's for sure not going to join now! I look at him again, his look of annoyance still painted on his face like a dull paint paints a canvas. He lets out a sigh causing me to look at him directly and stop my anxious poking. "Fine.. I'll stop by just for a cupcake, okay?", he says in a way that suggests he's serious. After fully realizing he's agreed, I mental celebrate and throw my arms up excitedly. "Yay!!! Let's go!!", I cheer, still mentally celebrating my accomplishment. He actually agreed!! Hooray!!!

The walk there was pretty quiet. And by quiet I mean it was filled with me mindlessly rambling, and Mitsuki mumbling back things like "yeah", "okay" and "that's nice, Sayori". Eventually I understood that he probably wasn't in the mood to talk, especially not in the mood to talk to me, so I stayed quiet, occasionally having conversations with myself inside my head. Eventually we arrived to the literature club,causing a sense of relief to wash over me. Of course I loved being with Mitsuki, but the silence was ,without a doubt, extremely awkward. I nervously giggled as I stepped into the clubroom and motioned for him to follow. He did, but I noticed his usual look of annoyance had returned, though it now seemed more... anxious? Of course he'd be scared! Oh dearie! I'm a horrible friend! I forgot that he can sometimes get a little nervous around new people, especially if they're girls. I turn back to face him just as I'm walking through the door way, but I didn't notice how closely he was following behind me, so instead of trying to help, I run into him. "Uwa! Uh I'm sorry!", I jump to my feet and offer my hand to help him up. He reluctantly accepts it, and I clumsily pull him to his feet. "Jeez Sayori, first you force me to go to a club I have no interest in, then you knock me to the ground?", he jokes once he's fully regained his balance. Even though it's a joke, I can't help but feel a tinge of guilt. Well... He won't have to deal with me soon anyways. Ignoring the feeling, I turn to smile at him. "Ehehe sorry", I sheepishly giggle out in response. Then, before walking through the door, I remember why I turned around in the first place and I slowly turn to face him again, luckily not running into him this time. "Hey", I say attempting to sound serious," you'll be okay! There's only three other girls and then me, a-and they're all really nice!". He faces me and his eyes widen as if he hadn't expected me to say anything. "E-eh! I just want what's best for you, okay? So promise me you'll try?", I jokingly scold. He chuckles and nods his head. "I'll try, but only if you agree to be a little less clumsy. You're going to get yourself seriously hurt one day if you don't start paying attention to your surroundings", he catiously explains to me. I nod my head, "I'll try to be less clumsy! It's a promise!". I hold out my pinky. "Now you have to promise me you'll try hard too!!". He shakes his head, "Sayori ... No that's embarrassing, put your hand down".

"Eh... But it wasn't embarrassing when we were kids...!!".

"Well we're not kids anymore, so things like that aren't normal...".

"Please...!!".

I look at him with a pout and he shakes his head at me. "It's no use", he mumbles as he hesitantly puts up his pinky. "I promise to try my hardest at socializing in the literature club", he says almost sounding sarcastic. I giggle and smile brightly at him. "And I promise to try my hardest at not being so clumsy!", I exclaim, feeling newly determined. "That would give me a lot less things to worry about you for", he said with a small laugh. "Meanie", I pouted, although it didn't really matter to me. If he stopped worrying about me so much, maybe he'd worry about himself more. Or maybe he'd even allow himself to worry about someone else more important than me. He gently wraps his pinky against mine, cutting me out of my thoughts. My face turns red instantly, a happy feeling poking at my heart. Have his hands always been this much bigger than mine? Or have we both just grown up? Come to think of it, he's a lot taller than me too. Shaking off the feeling, I nod my head.

"It's a promise!"...

 **AN/ 1179 words!! Wow!! Updating two days in a row!!? How shocking!!? Anyway, thank you for reading as always! Have a lovely day!!~** **~ Megumi**


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